They call me David Nelson and my name has been besmirched
When I fly across my country, I will always be stripsearched
Somewhere a David Nelson is allegedly quite mean
And the TSA ain’t able to declare my person clean

Search me (you can) Search me
But if you’re searching me
Who is getting off free?

My TV father Ozzie’s honored in my middle name
But the jihad’s David Nelson didn’t bother with the same
So every David Nelson’s treated guilty every day
You reckon old John Ashcroft wants it any other way?

(Repeat chorus)

I missed my flight from Texas and I missed my flight to Spain
You’d think my second cousin was a Tikrit named Hussein
I’m scrutinized and sanitized by security and then
The next time that I fly, they have to do it all again

I flew United Airlines from Seattle to LA
They asked for my passport in threatening kind of way
I didn’t know I needed it to fly domestically
You reckon old John Ashcroft wants us feeling not so free?

(Repeat chorus)

If it’s in the old computer, than, by God, it must be true
The boys suspect your actions no matter what you do
You’re on the list and stuck there, forever and a day
A dead man beat John Ashcroft and he got us back this way

(Repeat chorus)

If they’re searching me, who is getting off free?
If they’re searching me, who is getting off free?
If they’re searching me

© 2003 Patrick Short and Amy Gray , BMI

Inspired by a Margie Boulé column in The Oregonian